So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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