So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm both gender and math confused
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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