so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
