i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
