ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I don't deserve a penis
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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