Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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