sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
