Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
