omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
