I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
