the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just invented taco cereal.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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