you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
