I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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