I wish I only lived at night.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
