I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
