Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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