The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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