I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
