He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
