you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Who wears a wallet chain?!
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
