D3 body, D1 cock
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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