come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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