you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
