I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
