dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
why is half of my head shaved?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
