oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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