Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Randomize
