She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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