Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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