Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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