why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I love having hate sex.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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