i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
