When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
