I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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