grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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