By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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