Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Everclear isn't food dammit
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
