I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
