I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
