my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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