I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
