break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
