Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
