JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
