Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Shame is for Republicans.
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