He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
