Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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