I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
