I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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