Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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