it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
