Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Randomize
