It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
