once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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